In my private practice, I meet many students who struggle with executive functioning skills, time management, in particular. In this post, we’re going to focus specifically on transitioning between tasks. This challenge shows up in a variety of different contexts depending on the age and grade of the student.

• With younger students, this may look like making sure homework is in the child’s backpack to ensure assignments make it home and/or back to school.


• For middle-schoolers, the process of moving from classroom to classroom needs to be overcome. 


• For high school students, who are asked to be more independent and take care of all of their belongings, most often utilizing a locker, move from one side of the campus to the other in record speed. 
  

In each example, there is a critical point, when children need to shift from task to task.  In an effort to help teach students (of any age) to transition more fluidly, I want to offer a quick but effective technique to help make that transition less chaotic and more structured. 

The concept of metacognition is an umbrella of sorts for all of the executive functioning and time management skills. Metacognition is defined as “awareness and understanding of one’s own thought processes.”   In other words, thinking about your thinking. A common example to help you begin to understand this concept would be the development of the awareness that you have trouble remembering names of people and then reminding yourself to repeat their name aloud a few times when you first meet them to help you commit their name to memory.

I’ve included an illustration above from Mary D. Skalar and her website http://executivefunctioningsuccess.com. Her program, Seeing My Time, is excellent and I use it myself in my private practice with my students.

As you can see from the illustration, metacognition is cyclical, and it’s possible to spiral into an unending repeating pattern of thoughts once you dive in. This can create a difficult moment for a student and for the teachers or parents supporting them. So, I want to introduce a brief technique to help the student stop what they’re doing, take a moment to process what’s actually right in front of them, and make a thoughtful choice about it.

Here are the three simple steps:

1. Stop everything.
2. Take a deep breath.
3. Take stock of the situation to make a thoughtful decision.

For example, you’re in the car after school and about to go into the house. All the kids are ready to run in and do a variety of tasks, like changing clothes, getting a snack, watching TV, etc. Before you get out of the car, utilize this technique as a family. Ask everyone to stop what they’re doing, and take a deep breath together…maybe even two or three, if needed. Then bring consciousness to the moment by having each of your children make a decision about what will be the first thing they do when they get into the house.

Is it going to be taking off their shoes?  Hanging up their backpack? Going to their room and changing their clothes? The task does not matter as much as making a thoughtful decision about what to do first.

You can utilize this technique whenever your students or children are struggling to mentally shift gears.  For example, the children are at home now. They have gotten a snack, changed clothes, had a break. Now it’s time to start homework. So, everyone stops, takes a breath, and then you all shift into homework mode. You’re making a thoughtful decision to now go begin the homework phase of the evening.  What is the first assignment each child will tackle?

If you receive a little bit of pushback, and your kids aren’t ready yet to shift focus, it’s okay to have a little bit of negotiation: “How much more time do you need on your break? Five more minutes? Awesome. We’re going to set the timer,  so when this timer goes off, that’s going to be our stopping point.”

Practice with this metacognition exercise ensures students are engaging actively with the cognitive process of stopping and making a definitive, thoughtful choice about what’s next, not just letting their brain run wild with the next impulsive thought.

Now that you have an introduction to the concept of metacognition, my challenge for you this week is to try this technique this evening with your children or today in your classroom, if you’re a teacher.

Be sure to let me know how it goes by posting a comment in our online community, Education Alliance, on Facebook. You’ll also connect with other like-minded parents and educators who support children who struggle with learning.  And you can access helpful videos, share resources and participate in live Q&As inside this group, all with the goal to support you as you work with your children and students.

If you haven’t already, click here to request to join now.

See you next week for another edition of this six-part series: Time Management Skills to Help You & Your Child Today. 

Summer is officially here!  While I am sure you’re excited to have more time to spend with your children at home, it can be a daunting task filling those longer days and curious minds with entertainment. So I have put together a few simple suggestions of summer activities the whole family can engage in.

 

Enjoy the Great Outdoors

Take advantage of the warmer weather and head outside. Nature provides endless opportunities for your child to explore and learn. Consider visiting local botanical gardens, zoos and nature parks. If you’re short on time, take a walk around your neighborhood. If you’re more athletic or want to make a day out of it, take the family on a hike and pack a picnic lunch.  Click here for The Best Los Angeles Area Hiking Trails for Families.

According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Sixty minutes of daily unstructured free play is essential to children’s physical and mental health.” In addition to the obvious fitness benefits, exposure to green spaces for even has shown to help reduce ADHD symptoms, stress levels, and anxiety. Spending time outdoors can improve your child’s critical thinking, social interactions, sleep and even vision, so be sure to head into the sunshine regularly this summer break!

Schedule Play Dates

During the school year, it’s often difficult to set up one-on-one social engagements because there always seems to be multiple competing schedules. With the summer break, there’s plenty of free time AND a real need. While your child may get to connect with his/her peers at school, the summer can be isolating without that daily interaction. Instead of falling back on digital entertainment like movies and video games to fill the void, create opportunities for your children to connect face to face with their friends.

Here are 5 simple steps tips for planning a summer play date.  And to keep any damage to your clean house to a minimum ????, organize some backyard games like these or these (which offer some great rainy day options). This way you can keep the fun contained without dampening the spirit.

Involve Your Child In Decisions

If you’re planning a family vacation, why not involve your child in the process?  Depending on their age, you can ask them to: calculate the cost of the trip, determine which package is the better deal, choose the location or side excursions (determined by price), chart out the driving route, plan a picnic lunch for the car ride or road trip games to play. Take a look at this Wall Street Journal article to see how other parents made this idea a reality and how you can best guide your child as they take a more active role in your family activities.

Teach Your Child To Cook

It’s never too early to teach your child about healthy eating and important life skills. While initially it make take longer to get them used to the kitchen and its rules (safety first always!), the summertime is ideal for testing out the waters. You’re not nurturing the next Master Chef Junior, just teaching your children some basic cooking skills so they can, at the very least, make themselves a simple breakfast if they happen to get up before you in the morning. Here are some easy recipes for kids.

Set Out On An Imagination Adventure

This is the perfect time of year to read new books with your children. If leisure reading was put on the backburner during the school year, make it a priority in your house again this summer. Schedule a time each week for the whole family to relax together with a book. And you’ll already be prepared with one more activity for rainy days!

Here are some book lists by age:

• Summer Books for 6-8 year olds
• Summer Books for Tweens
• Summer books for Teens
• Summer books for Adults

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What do you have planned to fill those long, sunny, summer days? Let me know in the comments below, and we can add to the list!

Have you ever woken up in the morning certain it is the weekend, only to discover it’s a Tuesday?  This discovery makes you want to pull the covers back over your head.

Do you cringe at the thought of making just one more lunch?  Maybe your child won’t mind having yogurt and chips again! ????

Are you struggling to help your child with nightly homework?  You pray your middle-schooler doesn’t have an essay due this week.

Do you daydream about escaping to a secluded island with no cellphone coverage? ????️

If you relate to any of these, you’re not alone.

These are very common responses when we’re overwhelmed, frustrated or just plain tired.  As I’m sure you’re well aware, parenting doesn’t always allow for you to take these (much needed) respites.  As a responsible parent, we’re required to find ways to push on through. You meditate, take a walk, get extra rest, call a friend to rant… in other words, you find a way because life has to go on.

This week, I want to share with you my favorite strategy for moving past resistance and instead engaging resilience to help you get through those tough tasks.  When I am overwhelmed or frustrated, I take a time out, a moment to refocus and center my thoughts, so I can reconnect with why I am doing all this “work” in the first place.

For example, when I realize it’s Tuesday (and not Saturday! ????) and I need to hop out of bed and get myself and my family out the door, I take a moment to connect with something or someone for whom I am grateful.  I may even journal a little about it in a notebook, even if it’s just a few lines. This step helps shift my mood and perspective, providing me a boost of energy to begin the day and tackle my tasks.

How do you refocus and reset your inner compass? What activities or strategies help you dig deep when there’s not much fuel in the proverbial gas tank? Let me know in the comments

I’d love to hear what you face on a routine basis and how you overcome challenges and excel.

In this video (below), I address how to foster resilience in children.

Resilience is an essential life skill, yet it is hard to give child the opportunity to learn it. As a parent or an educator, our instinct is often to shield children from failure or struggle. We hope to prevent them from taking the same missteps we took.

But does this protection do more harm than good? We learn more from our failures than we do from our successes, so are we robbing children of important life lessons when we try to “fix” things for them?

I share my thoughts on the role of failure and how to foster resilience in this week’s video message below.

Video Message from Maria

Now, I want to hear from you. How do you feel about this new way of reacting to your child or student’s struggles? How are you teaching them to be resilient already?

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments.

Here is my simple check-in process to close out the school year positively. I help you take a look at your academic progress, and figure out if you need to make adjustments before the last day of school.

If these end-of-year challenges sound familiar, this check-in process will be especially helpful:

• Your child is rationalizing away extra work.
• Classes have already moved on to busy work
• The school year was particularly taxing for your child, and you want them to have a well-deserved break.
• You’re tired.

So, check out my video to create your end-of-year evaluation and celebration with your child.

Will you follow this template, or create your own with your child? How did you decide to memorialize your child’s successes? Let me know what you’re focusing on improving in the comments below, so I can offer you additional support.

Today, I want to touch on one of those life skills that does not get enough attention: boundaries. Boundaries sound good in theory, but it takes courage, consistency, and more than a little patience to enforce them.

Still, the struggle is worth it. Not only do boundaries help you stay in alignment with the behaviors, actions and values that are important to you, but they provide essential structure for your child.

We all know that kids’ brains are like sponges, so maintaining consonant boundaries sets an example for your child for how to manage their time, health and social activities in a productive way.

It’s totally normal in our busy lives to get off track though. Here are two of the most common ways that your child may push the boundaries and how to regroup and reaffirm a healthier, happier environment for your child to learn and grow.

1) Bedtime Battles

It may not seem like a big deal to let your child stay up “just a few minutes more, Mom,” but 5 minutes can easily snowball into an hour. And without proper rest, the next day – from the morning routine to the drive to school through the end of classes – will be met with greater resistance and less focus and energy.

Suggestion: Design a nighttime routine with your child to help ensure they head to bed by the appointed hour. There will be less of a “because I said so” energy if they are involved in the planning and feel a part of the process.

2) Electronic Interference

I hear many parents complain about their children playing video games until all hours of the night or constantly on their phones. While it may feel impossible to separate your child from their electronics, there are ways to find a middle ground.

Suggestion: Create no-phone zones in your home, like the dinner table or bedroom, where everyone (that means you too) needs to put away the small screen and connect with one another irl (in real life). ????  For video games, instill a schedule of when and how long game-time can last, and when the console is not in use, unplug it.

What other ways do you and your child butt heads about rules and boundaries? What ways have you found common ground together? Let me know in the comments below.