Today, I want to touch on one of those life skills that does not get enough attention: boundaries. Boundaries sound good in theory, but it takes courage, consistency, and more than a little patience to enforce them.
Still, the struggle is worth it. Not only do boundaries help you stay in alignment with the behaviors, actions and values that are important to you, but they provide essential structure for your child.
We all know that kids’ brains are like sponges, so maintaining consonant boundaries sets an example for your child for how to manage their time, health and social activities in a productive way.
It’s totally normal in our busy lives to get off track though. Here are two of the most common ways that your child may push the boundaries and how to regroup and reaffirm a healthier, happier environment for your child to learn and grow.
1) Bedtime Battles
It may not seem like a big deal to let your child stay up “just a few minutes more, Mom,” but 5 minutes can easily snowball into an hour. And without proper rest, the next day – from the morning routine to the drive to school through the end of classes – will be met with greater resistance and less focus and energy.
Suggestion: Design a nighttime routine with your child to help ensure they head to bed by the appointed hour. There will be less of a “because I said so” energy if they are involved in the planning and feel a part of the process.
2) Electronic Interference
I hear many parents complain about their children playing video games until all hours of the night or constantly on their phones. While it may feel impossible to separate your child from their electronics, there are ways to find a middle ground.
Suggestion: Create no-phone zones in your home, like the dinner table or bedroom, where everyone (that means you too) needs to put away the small screen and connect with one another irl (in real life). ???? For video games, instill a schedule of when and how long game-time can last, and when the console is not in use, unplug it.
What other ways do you and your child butt heads about rules and boundaries? What ways have you found common ground together? Let me know in the comments below.