Truth be told… The year I moved from second to third grade, I was both double-promoted AND held back a grade.  

Because my family moved to a new house, that meant I transferred from public school to private school. The rumor in my public school classroom, at the end of second grade was that I was so ‘smart,’ I’d be double-promoted from second to fourth grade!  I LOVED this idea.  But then I got word of our move, and I was completely underwhelmed and disappointed.

Would the new school realize how ‘smart’ I was?  Would they decide I really needed to be in fourth grade, not third?

When I arrived on the first day of third grade at my new school, they promptly informed my parents that it might be a good idea to send me back to second grade.  There were a number of things I was behind on….phonics, memorizing my multiplication facts, not to mention my daily prayers.  The teachers were going to give me a ‘trial run,’ and if I could catch up, I could stay in 3rd grade.

I was sorely disappointed and felt betrayed by my previous teachers.  Had they lied to me?  Was I really dumb and they didn’t have the heart to tell me?

I guess I did ok in my new private school classroom, because I never got demoted to second grade.

However to this day, I really question how I could be smarter than the average third grader in one learning environment and severely lacking in another.

Now I know as an adult that public and private schools can have widely different expectations for the same grade level, but as a child my foundation and understanding of myself as a learner completely crumbled.  I don’t think I really ever fully recovered until graduate school. By that time, well into my thirties, I knew how I learned best and that given the right supports and enough interest in the topic, I could learn anything.

I wasted many years wondering why I was so ‘dumb.’  Why I was consistently behind all my peers.  Why I never really fit in and felt like I was always playing catch up.

Maybe you have a similar story?  Maybe your child has a similar story?

It’s important to keep talking to our children about different types of intelligence. And to let them know that even if their circumstances change, it doesn’t change who they are. They don’t suddenly become dumber. It just means that they get an opportunity to broaden their perspective and rise to the challenge. And, when they do, they will see their strengths and confidence levels soar!