Lets walk through a day-in-the-life of a child facing learning challenges, plus review a strategy to turn around their problems

A Day-in-the-Life with Learning Challenges

The Emotions

Imagine, if you will, that it’s the start of the new school year and your 6th grade son, Elliot, is coming home every day angry and on the brink of tears out of his intense frustration. He says he’s quitting basketball, something he has participated in since early elementary school and loves very much, because he’s so overwhelmed and can’t keep up with the homework demands.  He feels like all the lessons are going over his head, and he doesn’t understand anything the teachers are saying.  

The Schoolwork

While your son has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) in place due to his difficulties with attention, this sense of complete overwhelm is new.  Elementary school, while not easy, was not this much of a struggle for him.  He’s working hours and hours after school to complete homework.  He has a perfectionist streak which makes him spend extra time getting everything perfect, but even so, he’s really trying hard and spending too many hours on homework for a sixth grader.

The Positives

School is very important to Elliot, and he tries to make sure everyone is happy.  He has accommodations, i.e. longer time, a quiet area, questions read to him upon request, and concepts are broken down into bite size chunks.  You haven’t received any grade reports yet, so you’re not really sure how he’s doing in relationship to his teacher’s perspective and expectations.

The Parent Perspective

You want to step in, but you’re not sure if you should or how. You have heard that as the parent of a middle school-er you’re supposed to stand back and let your child handle it, that it’s better to allow him to fail, yet, you know instinctively that something is off. The content goes over his head too often, and he does not yet have all the skills necessary to organize his notes, homework, etc.  

Exasperated by all of this, you throw your hands up, exclaiming, “What do I do?”

If this scenario resonates with you, here is my guidance:

A Strategy to Address the Challenges

1. Decide to take action relatively quickly.

If too much time passes without some improvement, your child could become even more anxious and miss important academic content. It is difficult to recoup lost learning, and they may not be able to catch up if you wait too long to address the issue(s).

2. If your child is in middle school or above, put them in the driver’s seat.

3. Email the teacher to schedule a conversation.  

If your child balks at the suggestion, offer to co-write the email with them.  This co-writing experience is an opportunity for an introductory discussion about how to advocate on their own behalf.  

Resist the urge to take over.  I know it can be awkward at first, but you need to walk the line between helping your child reach out and doing everything yourself.  

4. Meet with the teacher to begin to address the challenges and put a plan in place. 

If your child is in kindergarten through 5th grade, you can include them in a meeting with their teacher for the last 10-15 minutes.